Let me tell you a little bit more…

In May 2013, I entered a mental health treatment facility to manage my depression for the first time.  There the psychiatrist told me he thought I had Asperger’s syndrome.  I didn’t know what I felt at the time, maybe a little bit of denial, maybe a little bit of curiosity because a psychologist friend, who knew me as a child, told me she didn’t believe I was on the spectrum, and I believed her.

I had a pretty normal development, if you don’t count the fact that I stopped talking when I was 3 years old to everyone but my immediate family and a very select few friends.  I started talking again when my psychologist friend, who was the psychologist at my elementary school, intervened.  I was awkward throughout middle school and high school, having very intense interests like writing, presidents, birds, certain actresses, my pets, and TV shows and movies that had a love theme (like Who’s The Boss? [80’s sitcom], Notting Hill [Julia Roberts film], and currently Castle [Nathan Fillion/Stana Katic dramedy]).

I was very smart.  I got very disappointed if I ever got a B- on a report card.  I graduated from high school in 2004 with honors and a 3.6 GPA.  I decided to go away to college and room with my best friend at the University of Minnesota, Morris.  I loved the town and I loved the school and still do to this day, but I struggled being away from home.  I isolated myself in my dorm room the three and half years I was there, I rarely went to class and part of me regrets staying so long, mainly for the massively bill I accumulated.  I finally moved back home and got a job at Rainbow Foods, where I still work.  I am a cashier and I do not enjoy it at all.  It is difficult for me being so verbal and outgoing with people.  I do feel I was meant to be at this job for some time though.  If I hadn’t taken this job, I would still be very quiet and shy, I am still that, but not nearly as bad as I was 5 years ago when I started.

3 months ago, I was introduced to the possibility of being on the spectrum.  I made an appointment to get tested as soon as possible, which happened to be in August.  Now, a few weeks later, I got the preliminary diagnosis from the therapist.  She believes I am on the spectrum in some capacity.  I find out more information the next time I go in a week or two.

I hope this introduction to me helps you understand what I have gone through in this beginning process of diagnosis and acceptance.


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