Three short weeks ago I started a new job as an administrative assistant at a non-profit for disabilities. It was a lot better than my previous job as cashier at a grocery store but for some reason, I still wasn’t happy with it. I felt overwhelmed, under-qualified, out-of-place. It didn’t feel like home. It didn’t feel like I was meant to be there. Everyday I was fearful of doing something wrong and getting fired. I felt like I was walking on a floor that would give way at any moment. I couldn’t get comfortable there. Today, my boss took me into her office and told me that she was going to let me go. She said I was very intelligent, but it simply wasn’t working out. She believed I wasn’t happy at the job and she needed someone who would be, plus the executive director stated that the job would be changing and they needed someone more qualified than me. I had no chance. So here I am, a woman with autism, no job, no idea what to do next. It hasn’t really hit me how far down shit creek I am because I haven’t even gotten my first paycheck. I have already applied for unemployment. I think because of my recent diagnosis with autism, I will qualify for disability, so I’m going to apply for that too. I am at a loss at what to do next. I have been applying for jobs everywhere today because I NEED SOMETHING. Unemployment is only going to get me $175 a week and that is not enough to pay rent and cable and car insurance. I’d sell some of my stuff, but I don’t have anything of value to sell (except my computer, but I need that for school, and my car but I need that too).
Anyway, that is where I am at now. I believe things will work out for the best. They have to. I also believe this happened for a reason, but I don’t know what the reason is quite yet.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Autism, Autism spectrum, disability, Disorders, food stamps, Grocery store, Handicapped, Health, health insurance, jobs, Mental Health, Neurodevelopmental, unemployment
Here’s one thing about me that most people know because you will find my computer basically attached to my hands, I am addicted to the Internet. I remember growing up without the Internet and when I was I don’t know maybe 11 years old, my parents got AOL. I spent a lot of time on the computer, I found friends from the Internet. The Internet became everything to me. Lately, I have been following Raffi on Twitter (yes the singer) and he is a proponent for children to not be addicted to technology. I am started to see his point of view and I realize that it is a scary world we live in with the Internet. When I have children, I established long ago that they will NOT have a cell phone until they are 16 years old. There is absolutely no need for an 8 year old to have a cell phone. When they get this cell phone, they will be on a pay-as-you-go plan to teach them responsibility and they will be the ones buying these or earning them. To the point, when I have kids, I don’t want them to be like me. I want them to step away from technology, think without it, use their brains, their creativity. I am a creative person and I used to be even more creative. I would create art from magazine clippings, I’d write long stories about my future in notebooks (I still write, but do this on a computer now). I feel like my creativity has been dampened because of my use of technology. I feel like I rely too heavily on it. I do not have a smart phone. I don’t know if I want one either. I don’t need another reason to be disconnected from reality. I need to step away from the computer, step away from Facebook and Twitter, step away from the Internet and reexamine my priorities in life. My creativity is my life. I want to be a writer when I grow up, but I am killing my dream by spending so much time online. I want to see my future children better off than me and the only way is less technology.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged AOL, Cell Phones, children, Creativity, Facebook, future, internet, Mobile phone, Raffi, Science and Technology, smart phone, technology, technology addiction, Twitter