Children and the future

I’ve always thought that I would some day become a mother.  I’ve never been particularly fond of children, but I claimed that I would like my own children.  Lately, I’ve been thinking about the reasons why I want or think I want children.  I feel like if I don’t have children, I won’t have contributed to society in any way.  I don’t feel accomplished at all right now and I don’t know if I ever will.  I am afraid if I don’t have children, I’ll be lonely for the rest of my life.  I look at people without children and I just assume they aren’t happy because they didn’t have children.  I think that not having children is just not living a full life.  I realize this isn’t true at all, but I can’t help but feel it.  Honestly, it feels like the only reason I want children is to name them, because I adore names.  That isn’t a good enough reason though.  I can name pets just as well as I can name children, but cats don’t grow up and become president or something equally amazing…they are just cats.  Because of my having autism, I don’t handle noise very well.  Kids screaming causes me a great deal of stress and I imagine I would not handle that very well if I have kids.  I am so torn on this topic.  I don’t want to be the childless aunt, I want to feel like my life is fulfilled.  I don’t know if that means I should have kids or I should focus on myself and not have kids.  I simply don’t know.


One response to “Children and the future

  1. booksonaspergersyndrome

    I’m a childless aunt myself and like it this way. But every person is different, every aspie is different. many people on the spectrum do marry/have children. noise drives me crazy, too.
    being around my nieces when they were small,I realized I couldnt handle being a mother because of my anxiety, fear of noise, low frustration level, and the need to be alone.
    every person has a different experience. some aspies have the same problems I do, yet still they’re parents, and quite happy. you know yourself better than anyone else, so you know what will work for you and what won’t. I was pretty happy raising my cats, may their souls rest in feline heaven. and as far as cats not becoming presidents or doing mazing things, my cats did do amazing things, like the big, mean cat leapt from a shelf and landed on my head, and then leapt into the litter box, like my head was a stair. and some people think it’s time to have a cat president, for once. it’s a well known fact that cats contemplate world domination. those amazing, magical creatures.

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