Dreams

I decided to write again tonight and this is what I came up with.

She finds herself reaching for him in her sleep, her arms outstretched above her, her fingers trying to draw him closer.  She startles awake when in dreams they touch.  She stares at her hands, the electric shock she felt when they met still tingling her nerves, and she wiggles her fingers wondering if it really happened.  She knows he’s gone, yet every night she is hopeful that it isn’t true.  He left, taking his last breath as she held his hand, knowing his pain was gone, but hers was just beginning.  The ache she feels now that her love is gone consumes her most days.  She barely acknowledges the outside world anymore.  Why bother when the physical remains of her reason for breathing were taken by the northwestern wind on an October Sunday?

She still has her dreams, the dreams where they meet under the canopy of the weeping willow they planted on their wedding day.  He visits nightly, his younger self smiling peacefully as they take a seat in the grass.  She can feel the green shoots tickling her legs, the overwhelming smell of lilacs invading her senses.  She wears a party dress made of blue toile, the skirt fanning out around her, her petticoat peeking out.  He leans against the tree, his gray pinstripe suit fitting like a glove as he crosses his legs at the ankles.  She smiles lovingly at him, knowing this moment is ephemeral for whenever they reach for each other he disappears, and they always reach for each other.

Things are different this time.  Tonight, they touch.  Her fingers grazed his shoulder when they attempted to hug and a jolt of electricity shot through his body, startling her awake.  Now she lies in bed, hoping she can will herself back to the dream, back into his arms.  She begs God to send him back to her, telling Him she needs to feel him again as he caresses her cheek and they stare into each other’s eyes, communicating what needs to be said through their gaze.  She pleads for mercy, to end the suffering of the last five months without him.  Tears slip down her face as she pinches her eyes shut.  She feels her fingers buzzing with energy as she opens her eyes and finds him gripping her hand between his.  He smiles down at her and she knows why he came back.  Her breathing is short and rapid before she sucks in her last breath and her heart stops.  Together again, hand in hand, they drift away.

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