I need some control

I went to my primary doctor last Monday and was put on Metformin and Spironolactone.  Metformin is for my PCOS and Spironolactone is for blood pressure and also will help with the symptoms of PCOS, like acne and unwanted body hair.  I read through some of the side effects of the two meds and found that one of them can make antidepressants less effective.  Lately, I have been feeling out of control again.  I haven’t been going to all of my appointments all the time and I’ve been missing things that I need to show up for.  I don’t know if this is a result of the antidepressants not working or I really am losing control of things in my life.  It just seems so hard to get out of bed these days.  I slept on and off from 9pm yesterday to 5pm today.  It is has become ridiculous.

I came to the conclusion yesterday morning that I have become a little addicted to social media.  I figured out that in the last two months I have tweeted 378 times.  Yesterday, I tweeted 11 times.  It really seems to be again, out of control.  I decided to prevent myself from accessing Facebook and Twitter as easily as I have, so I took the apps off my phone, set up stricter blocks on Chrome and logged out of both sites so I actually have to log in if I want to go on it.  So far, I haven’t been on either site since 11:30 am yesterday.  I still allow myself to go on Fanfiction.net because I really don’t want to limit myself there, but maybe someday I’ll start controlling that site too.  It’s hard to stop constantly checking those sites, but I find it nice that I haven’t been getting alerts on my phone about every message I receive.

I want to feel better about everything, but once something good happens to me, it feels like more bad things happen.

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