I didn’t know why

Being the freakishly obsessed Castle fangirl that I am, I was waiting and waiting in intense anticipation for yesterday’s episode.  Yesterday my OTP (Castle and Beckett) got freaking married!  I watched it on my computer before it actually aired because I didn’t think I was going to be able to stay awake until 9PM yesterday.  When it was nearing the end of the episode I was dreading it.  I was completely convinced that the entire thing was a lie and that the writers were fucking with us and that they didn’t actually get married and had in fact died or something.  I was catastrophizing everything about the episode.  They did actually get married though.  I felt so utterly hollow though at the end when I should have been squeeing and flailing around like a typical fangirl.  I remember actually feeling this same exact way when Booth and Brennan got together in Bones.  I don’t understand!

Day treatment has been going well.  I even went yesterday despite getting a ton of snow and the roads being wretched.  I ended  up not going today because I was expecting the same thing, but it turns out the roads weren’t that bad.  I have only missed 2 days so far which is phenomenal for me.  I just hope because I missed today that I don’t find out my favorite person in group had graduated today.  I want to say goodbye to her.


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