I was watching some home videos tonight that I put on my computer. The particular one I was watching was from June-July of 1995. Some of the things that were filmed included my 9th birthday, a trip to Itasca where a tornado went through our campground, my brother’s 2nd birthday and various everyday things. The video of my birthday though, upsets me a bit. I open one of the gifts from my parents and it is a Barbie of some kind, then I set it on table, where my sister starts to look at it. I then snatch the doll from her. In so many of the scenes with my sister, I am just mean to her and I can see blatant jealousy on my face. I hate that I can’t watch these videos without seeing how conceited I was and how I acted like I had to compete with my sister. The sad thing is that I didn’t really get over the jealousy thing until a few years ago. It still pops up every once in awhile, but for the most part, I am able to tamp it down. It bothers me that I had this mean streak in me as a kid.
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