Everyone in my family considers our dog a big chicken. She barks at every little noise and startles at stupid things. If you think of it though, would the better word for Maya be brave? Bravery doesn’t mean without fear, it is facing something even if you are afraid. Even though Maya is afraid of the neighbor’s German shepherd, does the fact that she tries to show that dog that she isn’t scared mean something more? She is facing her fears, even though she reacts the same way every single time. She goes in fearful but brave. That giant dog scares her, but she still tries. Shouldn’t everyone be living their life like that? I’m afraid of doing this job interview, but I’m going to go into it pretending I’m not. I guess it is kind of a ‘fake it til you make it’ situation and while the the thing we fear might not get any less scary, if we keep trying and getting up when we are knocked down it shows everyone and the thing we fear that we aren’t going to give up.
That interview I talked about in my last post did happen. I stayed up all night so I could make the interview because I know myself and if I was in anyway drowsy from sleep, I would have skipped the interview. Well, it turns out it was a very good thing that I went to the interview because I was hired immediately. I am back to being a cashier, but hopefully it won’t be as bad as it was at the grocery store. I’m working at a home improvement store now and I’m waiting for the call telling me when I can go in for training. I had to get drug tested the day I accepted the position and considering I never drink and I have never even smoked a cigarette, I’m certain to pass the drug test. Anyway, I’m nervous about starting a new job because it is a different place with different people. I worry my old habits will come back and I won’t show up on time or I will call in sick a lot. I was never a good employee when it came to attendance. I’m hoping to change that though. I need to.
I have an appointment with a therapist on April 7th. I haven’t seen a therapist since my time in treatment last May. I need to figure out my crap. I need intense therapy and I need to figure out coping strategies so I can live as normal a life as possible. I also have an appointment with the person who diagnosed me with autism later in April, so hopefully she can help me figure out how to secure an apartment that I can afford.
I’ve been dog sitting for my mom’s coworker and will be until Friday or Saturday. The dog is a big sweetheart named Jazi, she’s a Rottweiler and seems to have gotten used to me coming into her home three times a day to let her outside. It does suck that I have to drive there 3 times a day though, it’s probably 3 miles from my apartment, but still. I could probably stay there for the day but they don’t have wi-fi so I can’t do anything but use the 4G on my phone or watch TV. I watched a couple of Castle episodes today when I went over there. I usually stay a couple of hours in the afternoon so the dog doesn’t get lonely without anyone there all day. I’m going to have to go and let the dog out in about an hour around midnight.
Anyway, so now I have a job, I have health insurance and can go see therapists finally and get my prescriptions for cheap and I finally have a reason to get out of bed in the morning (job) and go somewhere. It isn’t my dream job in any way, but it’s something until I can pursue my dream.
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Tagged asd, Asperger, Asperger syndrome, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, Autism, Autism spectrum, autistic disorder, cashier, depression, dog, dog sitting, dogs, employment, Mental Health, unemployment