I saw my psychiatrist on October 3rd. I managed to survive those two days. My shrink essentially told me to take a few weeks off work and get off the night shift because the overnight hours seem to have been worsening my depression. I ended up just quitting my job because there simply isn’t a job there that isn’t overnights. So yet again, I am unemployed. I applied for disability, so we will see if anything comes from that.
As much as I hate to say it, life has gotten a lot better since quitting. I don’t have any money and I am basically dependent on my parents, but I feel like I am free from that anxiety. I hope to someday soon be able to get back into the workforce but at the moment it isn’t something I am actively pursuing. I have found myself laughing a lot more than I was the last two months. I feel such immense joy when I watch Castle. I missed that.
My shrink recommended me for a couple of partial programs. I went to an intake appointment last Friday, but they didn’t think their program was the right fit for me, so they referred me to three other places. I made an appointment with one of them in Chanhassen for next Tuesday. I want to get started on all of this. I want to change my life.